My Fatal Flaws Family Tree
Rude Awakening
I was on my way to visit my friend Colleen and drove past the exit to her house. Not just one exit, not just two. I drove all the way to the other side of town.
Experiencing one of those sudden insights often referred to as “a blinding flash of the obvious,” I shouted out loud into the windshield, “I do this all the time!” It was true. I repeatedly stayed in situations way past the well-posted exit signs simply because I wasn’t paying attention. Naturally, having stumbled upon that award-winning gem of self-awareness, I had to push my luck and ask the next logical question – Why didn’t I pay attention?
The answer is pretty simple: If I paid attention, what I saw or heard might have caused me to question things – like authority, accepted beliefs, or another person’s right to have their way. Worse, if I had paid attention, I might have seen things I didn’t really want to see – like warning signals steering me away from someone or something I’d already decided I wanted.
Yeah, inattention is bad, but denial is a close relative. They’re like fraternal twins, just similar enough to confuse, but different enough to cause their own distinct brands of mischief. In fact, if I were charting my Fatal Flaws Family Tree, they would both be on a high branch with multiple limbs growing out of them.
Wise Ask: What does your Fatal Flaws Family Tree look like?
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CATEGORY DEFINITIONS:
Re-Recollection: A brief, occasionally edited recounting of an event or situation.
Rude Awakening: A short piece of writing describing a sudden awareness or discovery that causes a change in perception.
Rabid Rant: A brief diatribe on a single topic, often characterized by strong and passionate language.
Denial is what keeps you upright during a crisis. It stops you from setting your life on fire while your emotions are busy having a group meeting with no agenda. Sometimes your nervous system simply cannot afford a full-scale breakdown, so denial steps in like, “We’ll deal with this later.” It lowers the stress to a barely survivable level and buys you some time to pretend you’re fine—long enough to gather the strength to eventually not be. Think of denial as an emotional airbag: not a solution, just something that keeps you from splattering on impact. It’s not weakness; it’s survival with a temporary blindfold.
So why do people stay long past the clearly marked exit signs? Because leaving requires “letting go,” and letting go means rewriting the story of who we think we are. For some, that feels less like growth and more like failure—because their identity is duct-taped to the situation. Relationships, roles, beliefs, even the bad habits we swear we hate somehow become part of our personality. Self-prescription is powerful stuff.
I’m not the type to scream at my windshield, but I am absolutely the person who mutters things like “Well, that was predictable, Captain Obvious.” And without fail, every time I ignore my instincts, the universe kindly hands me the same painful lesson again—just to make sure it really sinks in.
Perfect response!!