Other Women Live In Me

Other women live in me. Three of them. One has been with me from the beginning and the other two came onboard over time, first dropping in for occasional visits, then moving in with their baggage.

This made for a crowded personality, but I never quite knew how to turn them away, so I gave them names and let them stay. As they grew in number and strength, I gave them a room and eventually a place to sit, with the clear understanding that they could only get off the bench one at a time. This has led to some arguments.

Mary

Mary was the first to arrive. Most often referred to as “very generous”, Mary protects and defends. She both sympathizes and empathizes. She makes excuses for everyone but herself. Mary runs on batteries and has a recording inside that keeps repeating “He can’t help it,” “Whatever they want,” “Let me do that,” and “Oh, no, I don’t mind.”

Mary provides aid and nurturing to anyone who looks like they might need it. She empties her pockets when someone says, “Gee, I wish I could afford that.” Convinced that it is better to give than to receive, Mary’s teenage fantasies were about collecting starving children from the streets of third world countries and feeding them hot soup.

Mary is never offended. In fact, she makes excuses for the offender. God forbid she should suspect anyone of wrongdoing, or worse, make false accusations. There’s no quirk or defect of human nature Mary can’t invent a good reason for. In her mind, Jeffrey Dahmer might simply have suffered from an untreated eating disorder.

Mary’s favorite book is The Lives of the Saints.

Lisa

Lisa is the middle child. She showed up one day in 4^th grade during a vigorous game of hopscotch — an activity kids used to engage in before batteries were required. As time and her enthusiasm began to wane, Lisa interrupted the anaerobics with a suggestion:

“What if we play the game backwards?” she announced. “You know, we face the opposite way so we can’t see the box we’re jumping into?” Silence. Confused silence.

Lisa has grown comfortable expressing inventive thinking and alternative ideas in the form of questions. She finds it preferable to the unequivocal rejection she faces when expressing them as statements like “I say we play the game backwards!”, which she fears will elicit responses like “Who does she think she is?” and “Who asked you?” But, she’s also learned that even innocent questions can be risky, particularly the ones no one else is brave or naive enough to ask.

Lisa points out logical inconsistencies and often launches sentences with words like, “How do you know…?” “Yeah, but,…” and “On the other hand…” Maybe this is why she is occasionally accused of thinking she’s the smartest one in the room, to which — if she were confident enough — she would respond, “Anytime there are more than two people in a room, one of them is going be the smartest. It’s called probabilistic reasoning.”

Lisa’s favorite book is Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert

Frieda

Frieda was the last to arrive. She is younger than Mary and Lisa, but has a bigger personality. Frieda is raunchy in a Wanda Sykes sort of way. She is impatient and intolerant of slow movement or delays of any kind — waiting for traffic to move, water to boil, bruises to heal, wine to chill, butter to melt, bathtubs to empty and cruises to end.

In fact, Frieda is notorious for her speed. It takes her 60 seconds to confess her sins, 30 seconds to change a diaper (unless it’s her own) and a mere 50 seconds to shower. In fact, Lisa insists there are parts of Frieda’s body that have never been wet.

Frieda does not suffer fools gladly and won’t take responsibility for what her face does when Alex Jones speaks. She has a streak of pessimism that would delight Schopenhauer and lay waste to Ted Lasso.

Frieda’ favorite book is The Hunger Games.

Mary is afraid of Frieda, Lisa is afraid of herself and Frieda is afraid of no one. Frieda is the most outgoing, but Mary leaves the bench a more often. Frieda speaks up more frequently than Lisa, but Lisa has more interesting things to say. Friends go to Mary when they need help, to Lisa when they’re looking for a great idea and to Frieda when they need to rail against the universe or have a score to settle.

Wise Ask: Who lives in you?

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